Dark Secret

I hate confessing this, but it's at the forefront of our lives at the moment: I'm having really big, bad, embarrassing mood swings with this pregnancy. Like, quick little bursts of irrational and uncontrollable anger. And if you know me, you hopefully think I'm mostly an easygoing person and that this isn't something I do. Even when it's time for mine and Chris's semiannual argument, I tend to stay pretty reasonable and calm unless I'm super duper provoked. But not right now. Right now it's almost like I'm looking for a fight, like I'm daring anyone to mess with me. Super irritable, super unforgiving of simple little accidents (which happen all the time with the tiny company I keep), and really impatient and smug. It's such an ugly set of feelings. Anyway, so this really sucks for me. For us. I'm embarrassed about it, and I hate it oh so much. Tonight I did a little Googling about it, and that only pissed me off. Well, it did make me feel a little better to know I'm not the only one who goes through it. But when I read suggested ways to cope with it I wanted to punch something. Walk away, write it out, take a mental health break... Dumb. What I do is lean on Chris a bunch, and he's so fantastic, and I stay as lazy and stress-free as I can. Which of course, means getting out of our routine and watching lots of television and letting things go undone. But that's OK right now. I hope it passes the minute I get into my second trimester. Or preferably sooner.

In other news, you should know and be forewarned that I have no hope of being anything but chubby until this baby is out and is a few months old. OK, that statement was more for me than it was for you.

Courtesy of Craig

We love when Craig takes pictures of us. No seriously, we do.

Up to Speed

I'm not even going to try and update everything that's happened since the last time I wrote. I will say that we moved to Boulder City in November, had a lovely holiday season, and just found out I'm pregnant again. That's all I can muster for now. And once again, I'll try to do better!

Pockets

Everyone's Got All The Answers

I don't know, this was one of the image results when I typed in "herniated disc."

If you want unsolicited advice from everyone in the world, herniate a disc. What a rude and ungrateful thing to say! I know, I'm sorry. I guess I can't help but be amused at everyone's answers to my problem...

Heat it; ice it; see a chiropractor; definitely DO NOT see a chiropractor, they're not real doctors; see MY chiropractor, he is LITERALLY the best chiropractor in the WORLD!!!; go straight to an orthopedic; go straight to a neurosurgeon; let the body heal itself, you know the body can do remarkable things on its own; go swimming; get a massage; don't get a massage; stretch and exercise; do THIS stretch; DON'T exercise whatever you do; get acupuncture; take some of MY prescription pain medicine; use an inversion table; and my favorite: don't pick up your kids.

Here's what I've done so far and my plan going forward. Now be aware that I may not have chosen your suggested path. Don't take it personally. I still love you and your answers.

My guess is that the injury happened when I had George back in April, because that's when the pain started. For the first 3 months (MONTHS!!!) I didn't know what it was and thought it would go away. I've had back issues before (you remember Twisty Back), and they've always worked themselves out within a couple of weeks. So that's what I thought would happen here. It wasn't until we were on our huge road trip in July that I turned a big bad corner and knew something must be done. See, sitting in the car is the worst. THE WORST. (Oh, I've mentioned that before, haven't I?) So when we were in the car for so long, I think I must've really aggravated it. That's when I decided to see Dr. Huffman, a chiropractor in town. He's great, I really like him, and I really really like his nurse Phyllis. I've been seeing them 3 times a week for the past 5 weeks. Each time I go I do electrical muscle stimulation, the decompression table, ultrasound, and get adjusted. When I wasn't showing signs of improvement after the first 3 weeks, and after our little road trip to Vegas last week aggravated the thing so badly, we decided I should get an MRI. So I did that, and there was no surprise in finding that I had a herniated disc and that it was causing a lot of pain in my sciatic nerve. Dr. Huffman thinks the injury is manageable though, and feels confident that with 2-3 more weeks of the same treatment I should improve enough to not need more drastic treatment measures (cortisone shot, or surgery). He has casually mentioned that getting massages may help. I haven't asked him about acupuncture yet, but I do want to hear his take on it and so I'll ask him about it at my next appointment. So the plan is to do my regular treatment for the next 2-3 weeks. I might throw in some massages and/or acupuncture. I have and will continue to try and take it somewhat easy, but I will NOT not hold my children. I won't exercise because Dr. Huffman says not to, but I will do the stretches he showed me. I won't put heat on it because that worsens the inflammation, but I will put ice on it because that brings the inflammation down. I will take my prescribed pain medicine if it gets bad enough (I just try to avoid taking medicine as long as I can so that I can be lucid and functional). After that, if nothing has improved, then we'll talk about the cortisone shot and/or the surgery.

Don't get mad at me for writing this! I really do appreciate everyone's interest and concern. Even more, I super duper appreciate how helpful some of you have been. It's just funny to hear everyone's answers, and how some of them completely contradict the next guy's. Anyway, it's not over yet but I've got a plan. And we'll just see how that goes. 

Sciatica Schmymatica

The kids and I tagged along with Chris on his weekly trip to Vegas for the purpose of helping Brandy move in to her new house and to see the Pionkes. The trip was a flop - Brandy's AC wasn't working so no unpacking got done, Lucy threw up in the middle of the night and that was a big debacle, and Olive was a naughty little biscuit so she wasn't allowed to see the Pionkes. But what took the cake was our ride back to Havasu yesterday. I've never been in so much pain, and that includes the very worst part of childbirth. It was so awful. I was gripping the seat and bawling my eyes out. I probably would've even screamed if it didn't hurt so bad to do it. I just wanted to be perfectly still, and every tiny jostle in the car was excruciating. I could not believe it. Chris kept asking if we should pull over, but I knew that would only prolong the pain. When we finally got here he helped me out of the car, and I just sobbed in his arms. I cannot believe how painful this is, and being in the car is just hell. All I could think about during those seriously intense 2 hours was how this was really affecting my quality of life. On the minimal end, I can't even sneeze or laugh without cringing. On the maximal end, I wanted to get pregnant for the last time right now, and that's totally out. Plus, it's so hard to keep up with the housework much less get down and play with the girls. So beyond being really painful, this thing is really breaking my heart. The treatment at the chiropractor is helping very little and very slowly. After yesterday I decided I really need to do something more aggressive about this. So, the MRI is set for Monday and we'll go from there.

Our Anniversary

Chris and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary yesterday. Courtnie came to babysit last night and we went to Martini Bay for dinner. It was kind of a bummer though because first our food was overcooked, then when they brought the newly cooked food out I burned my hand on the plate, and then that food was undercooked. We just laughed it off and went looking for a yummy dessert. We ended up at Smiths, and got a French silk pie from the bakery. (I made Chris wear that hat the whole time we were in the store, even when we ran in to a friend from church and talked for a while. Really cute). About 30 seconds after we got home, while we were chatting with Courtnie, Olive threw up. So the rest of the night was spent taking care of her while still trying to salvage a little bit of romance. George woke up promptly after we finally got Olive settled to bed. So we ate our pie while I fed him. We were exhausted by the end of it. It was a pretty funny comedy of errors, but we'll take it.